3/∞

By the reckoning of every top google search result, the appropriate gift to celebrate a third wedding anniversary is leather. They each, seemingly copying and pasting from each other, explain that the leather anniversary marks the time when a marriage has reached its first stages of strength. Leather is durable and long-lasting while still being flexible and pliable, much like a 3-year marriage, they say. Sitting here on my own third anniversary, I can see where that rings true most days, but especially in the middle of a global pandemic.

Part of why we work so well as partners is that we love to go on adventures. Sometimes that’s as grand in scope as long road trips to see rare events like eclipses. Sometimes it is as low-key as going to the farmer’s market. The point is that we are each others’ adventure buddy, and we want to go out and experience new and novel things together. That’s a hard desire to navigate while taking COVID-19 precautions seriously. And yet, like most, we are weathering the storm as best we can.

New projects have emerged to fill the gap that new places can’t. As we ride the undulating waves of manic, cabin-fever energy and depressive, WTF lows there are embroidery projects, bits of a live edge coffee table, new bird feeders, writing projects, high scores and partially read books in various places around the house. A catalog of unwatched movies and shows that seemed insurmountable in March has been devoured and rewatched in cycles by October. Mess accumulates slowly and is eradicated in rapid bursts. Nothing close to “normal”, but bashing together enough good newness to satiate while finding something of a pattern from week to week to find stability in.

In this fog of existence that is 2020, though, the main constant has been our togetherness. We’ve developed sympathetic orbits around our house, getting fair measures of time together and time to ourselves as the days wear on. An late bedtime or an early morning, a quick errand or chores in different parts of the house. And then coming together for shared moments of nothing, or shopping expeditions, or sharing the plot of a show the other is watching. It’s comfortable and self-assured in a way that maybe it might not have been in the very early stages of marriage. 

In either case, I hope this trend of resilience and reliance on each other is a hallmark of our time together. To be in (as many cases as we can be) partners and to give and take as we need to, ready to be the rock or the tumultuous sea crashing against it. And as the years pass and we advance into more solid and rigid anniversary gifts, I hope we maintain flexibility we have now. To be put together well enough that we can endure shocks and hard impacts without shattering or denting. After all, the best adventure gear is made from leather.